So… Life goes in all kinds of
directions all of the time. It’s hard to get everything straight. On one hand,
you should be thrilled for your friends and family surrounding you—their lives
are filled with positive outcomes and happenings. I mean, why wouldn’t you be
excited? But there is always something going on in your own life that makes you
envious—even jealous. And you know, in the long run, you shouldn’t be at all.
Being successful. Having a house. A car. Kids. There is something in your own
life that makes you stand out from everyone else. It makes THEM envious of YOU.
I honestly can’t believe I just said that.
That being said, don’t gloat
about it. Don’t shove your successes and happiness in someone else’s face. You
have NO IDEA what someone else is dealing with. What they have going on in
their life. How they feel about a certain topic.
You are raised throughout
your childhood and adolescence thinking and basically being taught that bad
things won’t happen to you. There is always
someone worse off than you. Sure. That could be true. Parents—adults in
general—they don’t put you through hardships, at least not intentionally. They
try to make it where you will never understand or see it. So you aren’t taught
how to handle the hard stuff, but isn’t that life? Doesn’t life become just
that when things get hard? Why don’t teachers and parents—all those adults in
our lives—teach us the hard stuff? It’s at that point where we can’t figure out
what to do. How to deal. So now what?
As I was reading through an
article the other day, I came across something that could be helpful in
allowing us to learn how to handle the hard stuff. How to handle being angry
with someone because they have something you want. Encouragement. Wow. Just one
word. Can you believe it? Encouragement to make your life better. As I kept
reading all I thought was “how?” How does that even matter? Does it really make
a difference? Encouragement is contagious. It starts with one person with one
word of encouragement. Being a gentle person. Not the way you think of the word
gentle typically. The dictionary actually lists gentle with a negative perspective. It’s not severe, not rough, not
with a bad temper. What if we changed our perspective on it? What if gentle was
being soft spoken? What about caring and loving? That’s what it is.
So, for those of you going
through something—for all of you that feel hopeless or angry or jealous, ask
yourself if it’s really worth it? Over the past month or so, that’s how I’ve
felt. Really, it’s been even longer than that, but there was one thing that
happened that made life that much more difficult. On the flip-side of this, as
I’ve been writing, I’ve been more hopeful. It shouldn’t matter what everyone
else has. For those of you with friends getting married, just think: is there
relationship as good as the one I have right now? For those of you whose
friends have kids, but you can’t: trust that there is a reason you are where
you are right now. Don’t be angry. Things happen. For those of you that have
someone in your life that throws everything in your face—it’s okay. Let them do
it. Find your person. The one you love talking to. The one who is there for you
no matter what. The one who will do anything for you. Find the Christina to
your Meredith. So remember—find your person—the person you’d call to help drag
a corpse across the living room floor. My 2017 was the “pick me, choose me,
love me” year, but I’m making my 2018 the “he’s not the sun, you are” kind of
year.
Until next time <3
A.L.N Blackert
